At the Dance
At the Dance was a recurring sketch seen primarily on the first season of the Muppet Show, featuring a variety of characters telling short jokes, mainly puns and sight gags. It was loosely based on a similar sketch from the television show Laugh-In. At The Dance stayed for all five seasons of the show, but it slowly began to get used less and less after season 1. The main theme for At the Dance was written by Joe Raposo. During the first season, the set was ussually blue, but after the first season it was usually pink. Some post-season 1 segments had a blue background (and vice versa). Also, after the first season, it was common to see the ceiling of the ballroom. The entire episode with Carol Burnett revolved around a dance marathon, with At The Dance-style jokes and situations. In that episode, the set was made to be a bit more detailed. The set was brown, and not a generic color. A similar scene was used in the special, Hey Cinderella!, where the main characters told jokes with thier partners. At the Dance Quotes :Mildred: I come from a very old family. :George: Mine's older. :Mildred: Oh, really? How old? :George: My family's so old it's been condemned. :Male Pig: Boy, my brother's really something. He's got girls eating right out of his hand. :Miss Piggy: Oh? Is he a lover? :Male Pig: No, a waiter. :Green Frackle: You know, I'm really stuck on you. :Mary Louise: Oh,you love me? :Green Frackle: No, I'm just stuck on you. (pulls his head away from Mary Louise's, with her red nose stuck on his snout) :Whatnot Woman: You know, I have a bone to pick with you. :Rowlf: Too late. I just buried it. :Trumpet Girl: I hear you come from a broken home. :Animal: Yeah. Me broke it myself. :Rowlf: My doctor says I'm getting the Asian flu. :Whatnot Woman: What did he say to do? :Rowlf: He said take two fortune cookies and he'd call me in the morning. :Headless Man(to a disembodied woman's head): You've got something I've been looking for all my life. :Rowlf: Tell me the truth. You don't like dancing with a dog, do you? :Whatnot Woman: What makes you say that? :Rowlf: It's that flea collar you're wearing. :Male Rat: I think we oughta move out of the ghetto and find ourselves a nice little dump in the suburbs. :Female Rat: Oh, honey, I love you like the plague! :Zoot: Say, do you wanna come to my place and listen to the beetles? :Janice: Oh, I love their music! :Zoot: Not music, I mean real beetles! :Miss Piggy: You know, my aunt has a chest that goes back to 1700. :Male Pig: Wow. That must make it tough on your uncle. :Miss Piggy: Yes... :Mildred: You know, when I was in London, I saw them changing the guards. :George: Why? Were they dirty? :Male Pig: Where'd you say you were born? :Female Pig: In Paris. :Male Pig: Oh. How'd you do that? :Female Pig: Oh, the usual way. :Rowlf: My cousin lives in the desert and, boy, can he run fast! :Whatnot Woman: Because the sand is so hot? :Rowlf: No, because the trees are so far apart. :Droop: When I went to school, I was the teacher's pet. :Whatnot Woman: What's the matter? Couldn't she afford a dog? :Male Pig: You dance like Rogers. :Female Pig: Oh, Ginger Rogers? :Male Pig: No, Roy Rogers. :Male Ghost: I'm going into the moving business. :Female Ghost: Really? Locally? :Male Ghost: No, ghost to ghost. :Whatnot Woman: I'm simply starving. Can't we stop for a bite? :Dracula: Delighted, my dear. (bites Whatnot Woman's neck) :Male Ghost: Why don't we stop and have a drink? :Female Ghost: We can't. :Male Ghost: Why not? :Female Ghost: They don't serve spirits here. :Mildred: Dr. Tooth... :Dr. Teeth: Teeth. :Mildred: Teeth. Do you think honesty is the best policy? :Dr. Teeth: Positively. :Mildred: Well, you are a terrible dancer. :Dr. Teeth: Another crack like that and your best policy will be an insurance policy! :Whatnot Woman: What's the difference between immoral and illegal? :Sam: Immoral is doing bad things, illegal is me with a tummyache....I didn't write it. :Shouting Lady: I've recorded three record albums and they're all really great, but they haven't sold! :Herman: What do you sing? Rock? :Shouting Lady: No, lullabies! :Rowlf: Hey, you are one cute tomato, my little dumpling, my little cupcake, my little lambchop. :Whatnot Woman: That makes me feel so... so... :Rowlf: Amorous? Let's kiss. :Whatnot Woman: No, hungry. Let's eat. :Whatnot Man: You know, these jokes they give us each week, they make me so mad I could blow my top! :Whatnot Woman: Me too. :Whatnot Man: Ladies first. : (The woman's head explodes, followed by the man's.) :Whatnot Man (disembodied voice): Ah. I feel better now. :Woman: You know what really bothers me? :Blue Frackle: What? :Woman: Your temper; you're always blowing your top! :Blue Frackle: Oh yeah? (His head explodes) :Floyd: Why are we dancing in an operating room? :Whatnot Woman: Because although the music will soon be over, the malady lingers on. :Whatnot Man: So, I says to the waiter, I says "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup" and the waiter says "Shhh, not so loud! Everybody will be wanting one!" :Duck-billed Woman: So, I said to the waiter, I said "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" and the waiter says "Looks like the backstroke". :Marvin: So, I said to the waiter, I said "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup" and the waiter said "What's the matter? You ordered a mosquito?" :Kermit: So, I said to the waiter, I said "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my alphabet soup?" and the waiter said "Standing in for the apostrophe". :Waiter #1: My, what a tough night I've had tonight. :Waiter #2: Oh, yeah, me too. The chef ran out of flies halfway through dinner. :Waiter #1: One, two, three, dip! : (The waiters then lean forward, causing the wine glasses on their trays to fall off.) :Mildred: Are you a real professor? :Pig: Of course. I hold the high chair of philosophy. :Mildred: Where's that? :Pig: Right here. (picks up a chair) :Male Snake: Say, are we poisonous? :Female Snake: I don't know. Why? :Male Snake: Oh, nothing really. I... I just bit my tongue! :Fozzie: Did you hear about the nut who joined the army? :Male Pig: Sure. They made him a colonel! :Female Pig: That old chestnut! :Fozzie: What do you get when you cross an eskimo and a pig? :Fleet Scribbler: Oh, that's easy. You get a polar boar! :Monk #1: You do all the cooking in the monastery? :Monk #2: I only cook the potatoes. :Monk #1: If you only cook the potatoes, what do they call you? :Fozzie: The friar. :Monk #2: No, the chip monk. :Fozzie: What is green, waves its arms and is found in Chinese restaurants? :Whatnot Woman: I don't know. What IS green, waves its arms and is found in Chinese restaurants? :Fozzie: Kermit the Eggroll! :Fozzie: Why did the duck cross the road? :Whatnot Woman: I don't know! Why DID the duck cross the road? :Fozzie: Because he was tied to the chicken! :Fozzie: What do you call a light brown billiard stick? :Whatnot Man: Uh, tan cue? :Fozzie: You're welcome! :Purple Frackle: Do you know what sea monsters eat? :Blue-Green Frackle: I give up. :Purple Frackle: Fish and ships! :Whatnot Woman: Why do we keep dancing around in the circles? :Pirate: Because me wooden leg be screwed to the floor! :English Gent: I put my golfing shoes on by mistake and my feet are killing me! :Zelda Rose: Oh, why? :English Gent: I put them on inside out! :Mildred: George, do you like circuses? :George: Oh, I love 'em! :Mildred: Then, you must love Ringling. :George: I don't know. I never ringled! :Gonzo: Excuse me it's time to change partners. :Miss Piggy: No, it's time to change ballrooms, Freak! :Male Chicken: And how are the kids? :Female Chicken: Not too good. One of them has the people pox. :Female Monster (Gloat): There's a bat headed this way. :Blue Frackle: That's all right. My uncle was a vampire. :Female Monster: It's not that kind of a bat! : (baseball bat approches and knocks the Blue Frackle's head off) :Female Monster': A definite improvement. Category:Muppet Show Sketches